Saudade
by Pizza Not Sandwiches
Summary: (n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost; "the love that remains" [tw/scenes of domestic violence] [spoilers for season 12 finale onwards]
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello! I'm a new writer, and this is my first fan fiction. It's slowburn Calzona ;) I'm not sure how often I'll update, but I won't be too long or too quick. All reviews welcome! Try not to be too harsh :D There are some scenes of domestic violence (not in this chapter, but later on) but I'll warn you guys in advance. If you think/know it will affect or trigger you, please don't read on. Close the tab. I'll understand. Without further ado, here is Saudade!

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Miranda Bailey was a Chief with priorities. She was adamant that Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, HER hospital, would run with patient care and hospitality as its primary concern. There was no time for personal issues with her staff, and she made sure everyone damn well knew it.

So when she got a call from Chief Mike James from New York claiming there were urgent matters relating to a former attending and board director, she dismissed him, saying this doctor could handle their own issues themselves without her help. But James was insistent. And Bailey knew she had a duty, as a human and as Chief of Surgery, to at least hear the man out. Even if she did think he was lying. That didn't mean she wasn't worried. She was just… unsure.

What she really wasn't expecting was that the situation was linked to the new Grey Sloan general attending, Dr. Luna Zorita, the (now former) head of general surgery at New York Presbyterian, who moved to Seattle just 3 weeks prior. The hazel eyed, fair-skinned, chiselled jawed doctor was something, she'd give her that. She had metaphorical balls to fly across the country for this, if it was indeed a lie.

But after the 90 minute long phone call in her office with Mike at 8am, during which she had made it clear to her staff that she would not be disturbed, she was astounded. And it took a lot to render Miranda Bailey speechless.

"I know... it's a lot of information to retain. I'm still trying to get my head around it all too."

"R-Right." In an attempt to compose herself, and to get around the sudden lump in her throat, Bailey cleared her throat. "Thank you, Chief James. I assure you that Grey Sloan Memorial will not hesitate to be of any assistance. I'll page the board and Dr Zorita immediately."

With that, Bailey ended the call. She had to gather herself, before anything else. She had to process all that she'd just heard. This wasn't a lie. No, this was very much the – very crappy – truth.

҈ᵜ҈

On her way to her cubby, Luna Zorita fumbled through her handbag for her ringing cellphone, glancing at the caller ID and swiping the answer button across the screen.

"Chief! How are- Oh. Okay. Thanks for the, uh, update. Goodbye sir." Shakily, Luna put her phone back in her pocket, walking straight to the attending locker room. She heard the buzzing of her pager, and her blood ran cold. Thanks to her former Chief, she knew what the page was for. But that didn't help to reduce the anxiety she felt. This was it. The real reason why she had been transferred to Grey Sloan Memorial would soon be revealed. This was actually happening. With a look at her pager, she ditched her locker and ran straight to the conference room.

"Dr Zorita."

Luna looked up to see Chief Bailey alone in the conference room, and knew the others were on their way. She walked in, palms sweating, and looked at her Chief, straightening her posture. She figured this would hide her nerves, even though she felt like her heart was in her throat. Bailey cleared her throat and looked at the floor, before making eye contact.

"I just got off the phone with your former Chief, Mike James, at New York Presbyterian. He informed me of…everything. The real reason you're here. I thought he was lying, initially. Now I'm less sceptical. But I know my doctors. We've gone through…a lot. They won't believe you straight away or perhaps for a while. Don't let that get to you, though. That's just how we do things. It's our coping mechanism. I hope you're prepared, Luna."

With a slight nod, Luna fought back the sting of the tears forming in her eyes, and in a bid to stop them bursting out of their boundaries, looked up at the sky. She didn't know she'd been holding her breath until she exhaled.

"T-Thank you, Chief Bailey."

Bailey gave her a small smile, and poured out a glass out of water, setting it at the head of the table, for Luna.

By then, the board directors had settled in, talking among themselves. Luna was at the head of the table with board directors Dr Arizona Robbins and Dr Meredith Grey on her left, chairman Dr Jackson Avery on the opposite side of the table, and board members Dr Richard Webber and Chief Miranda Bailey on Luna's right. Suddenly, they were all silent and Luna could've sworn they could all hear her gulp.

"Hello, everyone."

The nervousness in Luna's voice betrayed her and she quickly took a long sip of the fresh cold water in front of her. She closed her eyes for a brief second but immediately regretted it, as her mind forced her to relive memories from 24 years ago.

"Zo', you okay?" Jackson inquired. She looked up at him, and saw the kindness and concern in his eyes. It helped, somewhat. She quickly nodded, and continued,

"You're probably wondering why you've been paged here. Well, uh, there's an underlying reason as to why I transferred to Seattle 3 weeks ago. And I really, really hope that you all understand why. But PLEASE, hear me out before any of you say anything. When I was young, I was a witness to my mom being constantly abused by her boyfriend. My brother and I couldn't do or say anything to anyone, because we knew no one would believe us or take us seriously. Without a doubt, it haunts me every day. Not a moment goes by where I think about what I could've done, even though I was only 5 years old."

Luna's voice betrayed her at the last word, and she turned with her back toward the table, facing the window. She inhaled, and exhaled, a long and deep breath, mentally trying to prepare herself for what she was about to say. Behind her, Meredith said, "Luna, why are you telling us all this? What does this have to do with us?" Luna turned at this, and proceeded.

"Three years ago, one of your well-respected attendings, who was a board director, left the hospital and Seattle, headed for New York, with her resident girlfriend and daughter. I was at the hospital they have been working at, New York Presbyterian. Unfortunately, Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres is in the situation I was in 24 years ago. Callie Torres has been abused for the last 2 years, by Penny Blake. Domestic abuse not only physically and emotionally hurts the abused, but those closest to the abused. That's coming from experience. And Sofia is such a sweet, bright, beautiful and innocent girl. She's Callie's mini-me! I-I mean, you gotta be blind if you can't see how much Sofia takes after her mother. Callie is a gentle, wonderful, kind, loving, caring and badass woman, who really doesn't deserve to be hurt like this. I just can't let Sofia's innocence be tainted by something so traumatising and hurtful. I refuse it. And I know for a fact that I'm not the only one in this hospital who wants the very best for Callie and Sofia." This last sentence was directed to Arizona, who was sat, looking at Luna in deep thought, tears swimming in her sapphire eyes. With a small smile, Luna carried on,

"The real reason I'm here is for your help. I have hard evidence, in the form of a camera video. I taped a secret camera to my lab coat for a few days and… I, I just know. The camera doesn't lie. I want a better future for Callie and Sofia, and I know you all do too. So please, help me. Help us. Help give Callie and Sofia Torres a better future. Help me bring them here – home."


	2. Author's Note - Please Read!

Hi everyone!

As you can tell, I haven't updated this fanfiction for a while. There isn't really a reason why, but college work and inspiration have been pretty major factors. However, that was then! I now attend a new college in which my timetable is slightly more relaxed.

For now, I'm putting this fic on hold, and I'll be doing small fics. Saudade was originally going to have about 30 chapters, including the epilogue. As it would've been my first fic, and I'm not really that experienced of a writer, I'm gonna write other stuff first. One shots here and there, maybe a few fics less than 10 chapters. Who knows!

The reason I'm postponing Saudade, is because I'm planning a fic (and a sequel too, if I have time or if the first one gets a little bit of lovin') called At Last. And of course, it's Calzona endgame! It's also set a little bit after Season 12 finale.

I'll post another AN on here once my beta (the lovely Maria) okays my first five chapters. What my plan is, is to write and beta-check 5 chapters at a time, and upload one chapter maybe every 2 weeks. That was the issue with Saudade – I wrote the first chapter, but then writer's block hit me (not like a bus or a truck…)

So BASICALLY

This fic is being put on hold

I'm planning a new fic called At Last and a potential sequel

I'll be writing one shots here and there so don't go away!

Thanks for being lovely! 3

PNS


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